An All Purpose Script for Every Knicks Crunch Time Play

April 4, 2014

sadknicksIn order to save everyone the trouble of having to watch the Knicks mangle every single end of game scenario imaginable, I have taken the liberty of writing them down in script form.

Final Defensive Possesion:

“Ok guys just stay in front of him. [Insert dedicated FARTDOG guard of the night] has been killing us, just stop him one time.”

“NO LOOK OUT HE’S [Insert basic screen action or beginner level dribble move] STAY WITH HIM.”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING [Insert Knick player about to botch his defensive assignment].”


Oh what’s that you say, there is still time left on the clock? Well no worries, because I have here a boiler plate scenario for all your end of game offensive needs as well! Follow it closely and you can impress all your friends by telling them what is going to happen before they even inbound the ball!

Final Offensive Possesion:

“They know the ball is going to Carmelo. Please use him as a decoy or at least set some kind of screen!”

*Ball is in-bounded to non-Carmelo Knick*


*Ball gets to Carmelo in the high post*

“DAMN. Ok. Carmelo is a great player who is tough to guard. We have tons of time. Take him off the dribble Melo! Or even back him down! Or maybe we could even get fancy and have Tyson come set a pick for him! OOOOOHHHHH. Lots of time to figure this out. SO MANY OPTIONS!”

*Carmelo dribbles five feet behind the arc for 3/4 of the remaining time*


*Carmelo dribbles and hoists up a 22 footer. It does not go in*

You’re welcome Knicks fans. I have just saved you endless torment and frustration.



Knicks are now a game back of the Hawks. They take on Miami sunday. They’ll probably win by 20 because Knicks.

Herring Sheds Light on Jackson’s Philosphies

April 3, 2014

Chris Herring, who covers the Knicks for the Wall Street Journal got a chance to ask Phil Jackson some pertinent questions during a media session today. Phil had some interesting answers regarding his plans for the Knicks roster as well as the role the CAA will play in team decisions moving forward.

Here are the most interesting and relevant questions from Herring via his Twitter feed:

So it sounds like the CAA reign in the Garden has come to an end, and Phil will be pushing for a coach who is capable of installing some version of the triangle. Presumably that makes Kerr the front runner which is perfect as far as I’m concerned. The Shumpert quote is encouraging and presumably indicates that Phil plans to keep Shump on the roster moving forward. For now it seems that things are looking up in Knicks land, and the Zen Master’s openness with the media is hopefully an indication of the start of a new era.

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    Knicks 110 Nets 81: The Iman Shumpert Game

    April 2, 2014

    I haven’t written a recap in a while, but this game was something special. From the opening tip the Knicks absolutely dominated the Nets. With the sole exception of a briefly terrifying run by the Nets in the middle of the third quarter, the Knicks were in complete command of this game. Iman Shumpert was […]

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    April Fools Day Rumor Suggests Raptors Want to Trade for Bargnani

    April 2, 2014

    A fake report surfaced today claiming the Raptors were interested in reacquiring Andrea Bargnani in the offseason. APRIL FOOLS! That’s hilarious, because what kind of idiotic front office would ever give up assets for a guy who hasn’t played any sort of decent basketball since 2008? Nobody. Get it? Now you Knicks fans might be […]

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    Unbridled Optimism: The Start of the Phil Jackson Era

    March 18, 2014

    March 18th, 2014. That is the official start of the Phil Jackson Era in New York. It is a date that has the potential to alter the entire course of Knicks history. Only time will tell whether that course leads to the long awaited return of Knicks colors flying proudly down the Canyon of Heroes, […]

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    Doing More With Less: How Carmelo Can Save the Knicks

    February 17, 2014

    I haven’t posted in a while, but the future of the Knicks is now at stake, so I figured I would write down a few thoughts about Carmelo and his future here. I was an early adopter of the “let’s just blow it up” mentality. This season started off badly, and it only got worse. […]

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    Yelling Fire in an Empty Madison Square Garden: Should the Knicks Pull the Rip Cord?

    November 26, 2013

    The Knicks have started off the season slowly with a putrid 3-10 record. Seeing as it has been THIRTEEN whole games and the Knicks suffered a critical injury to Tyson Chandler, who is arguably their most important player, now seems as good a time as any to completely freak out. Last night’s loss to Portland […]

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    Knicks 91 Blazers 102: Welp. Yeah.

    November 26, 2013

    This was a disaster of an effort by the Knicks. With the sole exception of Carmelo Anthony and Kenyon Martin the Knicks looked lazy and disinterested. Bargnani had a classic Bargs sequence that involved him pump faking, then trying to draw contact on a pretty open three (I think) and then promptly passing to a […]